Nick's Dream (guest blog post)

Today I'd like to share with you one of Nick's dreams.  Just to be clear, this isn't a Martin Luther King Junior "I have a dream" kind of dream, this is a literal dream Nick had while sleeping.  After the overwhelming success that was Nick's last guest blog post, as soon as Nick told me about this dream, I immediately requested that he write it up for my blog.  Without further delay, I give you Nick:

Hi everybody in the world,

I'm here to tell you today about a dream I had the other night. I was at a dorm-type thing, I think for some sort of conference. Dan, Dan's new girlfriend, and I were sharing a room. Dan's new girlfriend wasn't based, as far as I know, on anyone I know. I recall her as attractive, with curly black hair, and quite skinny. Frail. Not really Dan's type (musclebound as hell). They were a bit of a mismatch.

Now, some background on this dream world, which I think I just took as given. Guys were supposed to steal each other's rock tumblers. The whole kit, including all the sands and polish dust stuff. It was like a prank frat boys did. So, you know, you kindle a little bromance by putting cellophane over the toilet. Get really stoked and give someone a gorilla mask. And on the way out, you swipe your roomie's rock tumbler. They all have them, and when they notice their tumbler is gone, they know you got them good. They laugh about it and plot a way to get you back, probably involving drawing cartoon dicks on your forehead while you sleep.

With that background in mind, we proceed. Dan and I go visit another room. As we leave, their backs are turned, and there's a rock tumbler by the door. In its original box, with all the sands and stuff. So of course Dan steals it. It's not that Dan's much of a frat guy - these days are behind us/never existed. It's more of an homage, a tribute to this spirit of things.

We get back to our dorm room, and things get awkward. It turns out that Dan's girl is this sheltered weirdo who never heard about how stealing rock tumblers is a thing. She thinks he's a at best a huge jerk and at worst a criminal, and he needs to go return it or turn himself in or something. We try to explain things, but she's relentless. She doesn't realize that Dan was just having a little rock tumbler fun. This couple isn't going to last.

This is a completely different dream, but I just remembered it and really feel like mentioning it anyway. One time I dreamed that I met Jim Carrey. He tells me that he's working on a Jaws remake. He's to play the shark. I think this is the best idea I have ever had.

 My only regret is that I didn't buy up all the Rock Tumbler futures prior to publishing this story.